Monday, September 19, 2011
Oh and did I mention I have a mouse problem? This mouse has some razor sharp teeth because no matter what obstacle I put in front of it, it succeeds like some kind of mousy version of Angry Birds. I didn't steal your eggs mister mouse man. I do, however, appreciate the fact that it only nibbles on the Trader Joe's 99 cent bowtie pasta but this is getting annoying. It won't even fall for the clever traps I've set. It gnawed through the spray foam like cotton candy and for what? Just to get in to the paper label on the can of baking soda. This mouse should be on that "I eat strange shit" TV show where the one woman was obsessed with baking soda. Last night, I guess it couldn't get back out of the pantry and was making all kids of noise. I was, of course, petrified. I waited for my husband to wake up and deal with it. I figured it was finally caught in the trap but when we opened the pantry door and took out the trap, it was still set. I have no idea where it went after all that ruckus it had been making. The only animals allowed in this house are the humans living in it and my turtle.
I have also seen coyotes. They're innocent enough just looking for food but they tend to stay on the street. Raccoons, skunks, and possums . . . they have no manners. They will trespass without a care in the world. They climb the trees, hang out on your roof, scratch it up, dive down the other tree, then kick back under the house. And as a parting gift, the stinky old skunk will let you know it was there by leaving its stinky calling card of cloud stank. I'm sure it takes a farty walk all around the house, crop dusting, just to make sure you know it too. Really annoying. I thought this was LA.